In what has sent shockwaves throughout the world, reports have emerged in the dark web that that the white bearded, body positive man, better known as Santa, has disappeared.
Since this has not happened ever before, naturally, it has all the entire parent community worried, since now, for no fault of theirs, they have to go shopping for their children. Says Mr Banerjee, a disgruntled parent, ‘This is most irresponsible of Santa. He should have at least given us a heads up. Now what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what my child likes.’
Among famous detectives who have been engaged to track down the jolly man who loves children a little too much, is a small advertising agency by the name of The Voice Company, who haven’t done any case solving ever. The Founder and Intern (and only employee of the agency), a person who did not wish to be named said ‘This is an incredible honor for us, If we end up finding Santa, we shall make a case study and send it to Cannes.’
Rudolph, a close acquaintance of Santa has a theory about his disappearance. ‘Even though Santa and me had a bit of a falling out recently, I was with him last Tuesday, when he had a bit too much to drink. In his drunken state, he was talking about how he’d like to chase down the people on LinkedIn who put out useless polls, with an axe. I told him this was a terrible idea, and I honestly hope he wasn’t serious about it. We’ll just have to wait and see I guess.’
Bikram, a serial poll artist who puts publishes at least ten useless polls a day on LinkedIn says, ‘This is absolutely not done. Who the hell does Santa think he is? Polls are useful tools.’ When asked how polls have helped him, he hmmed and hawwwd and muttered something that was inaudible. Then started a poll on LinkedIn asking whether Santa should be cancelled.
In what has sent the advertising fraternity scurrying to their therapists, employees have opened mailboxes today to find an astonishing number of unread emails.
What started out as an innocent purchase has now snowballed into a violent standoff between the long-standing resident chair, and the newly appointed sofa.
The Voice Company investigates disappearance of Santa
In what has sent shockwaves throughout the world, reports have emerged in the dark web that that the white bearded, body positive man, better known as Santa, has disappeared.
Since this has not happened ever before, naturally, it has all the entire parent community worried, since now, for no fault of theirs, they have to go shopping for their children. Says Mr Banerjee, a disgruntled parent, ‘This is most irresponsible of Santa. He should have at least given us a heads up. Now what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what my child likes.’
Among famous detectives who have been engaged to track down the jolly man who loves children a little too much, is a small advertising agency by the name of The Voice Company, who haven’t done any case solving ever. The Founder and Intern (and only employee of the agency), a person who did not wish to be named said ‘This is an incredible honor for us, If we end up finding Santa, we shall make a case study and send it to Cannes.’
Rudolph, a close acquaintance of Santa has a theory about his disappearance. ‘Even though Santa and me had a bit of a falling out recently, I was with him last Tuesday, when he had a bit too much to drink. In his drunken state, he was talking about how he’d like to chase down the people on LinkedIn who put out useless polls, with an axe. I told him this was a terrible idea, and I honestly hope he wasn’t serious about it. We’ll just have to wait and see I guess.’
Bikram, a serial poll artist who puts publishes at least ten useless polls a day on LinkedIn says, ‘This is absolutely not done. Who the hell does Santa think he is? Polls are useful tools.’ When asked how polls have helped him, he hmmed and hawwwd and muttered something that was inaudible. Then started a poll on LinkedIn asking whether Santa should be cancelled.
The poll results aren’t in as yet.
And Santa isn’t picking up his damn phone.
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